Friday reflections is the part of my blog where I talk about life, or of issues relevant to me, or just generally things I love or like, so that you have a better perspective of who I am.

This post today was written last year by a very good friend of mine, Maria Carmela Holman. I wanted to share it because it is very relevant to what has happened to me in my life in recent years, and if reading this can help someone else fall into this trap, then it is a worthwhile exercise.


Ever offered something to someone and they’ve led you to believe that it’s what they want, but then they avoid you? It’s amazing how often it happens. You may say that these people are too nice to knock you back by saying anything negative to your face, or that they’re too nice to reject you straight out, but the truth is, they’re just cowards that lead you to believe that you’ve got something that they want.

Maybe they leave you hanging while they work on something else. Something that they believe will suit them better and will be more to their liking but they’re unwilling to let you go completely until they’ve got the other project in the hand. They’ll string you along until they’re absolutely certain that they don’t need you anymore. You’re their plan B. When their other project is a sure thing, then they’ll let you go. Sound familiar?

It can happen in the workforce. You need a position that pays better. Your boss tells you that he’s working on giving you a promotion but instead he strings you along to keep you there, which in turn encourages you to work harder. You do this because you really want that higher paying job, but your boss has no intention of giving you a better position or a cent more than what you’re earning right now.

Wake up! You’re being used! Look for another job! Somewhere where you’ll be appreciated and paid your worth.
You’ve just started seeing someone new. They say all the right things and it’s going along nicely (so you think) until you put out. Then the calls stop and the messages cease. Deep down you know they’re seeing someone else. You’ve been played and you end up wondering where you stand.
Wake up! You’ve been used! Cut your losses, tell them to **** off and look for someone new. Someone who’ll appreciate you for who you are and all the good things you have to offer.

Your friends call you only when they need something or have no one else to hang out with. But when you need them they’re not available or they’re too busy.
Wake up! You’re being used! Get some new friends. Friends who know the meaning of the word ‘friendship’. Not only when it suits them, but at any time, on any day. Friends who’ll be there for YOU and vice-versa.

It’s amazing how much we’re willing to put up with when we really want something to be a part of our lives. How much we let slide or turn a blind eye to when it’s what we THINK we want. We make excuses for the people who continuously do us wrong and we protect them, and because we do this, they get away with it and continue to use us because they know they can. BECAUSE WE LET THEM!

The day we let go of the things that are no good for us, is the day that we make room for the things that are. We really need to make the changes to improve our lives and rid ourselves of everything that brings us heartache. We need to learn from our mistakes and move on. Do things differently and start living the life we deserve. WE are in charge of our own happiness. WE have the right to make our own decisions. WE have a choice!
I choose to be happy. How about you?

“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.” Henry Ford (1863-1947)